I'm a Feelings Person
I'm not a "hugger" or a "kiss up" or anything like that. I'm just the type that FEELS EVERYTHING. And every big decision I make has probably come from a deep intuition I had. Or a laugh. Or a dream. Or from I tear shed while no one was looking.
Everything effects me.
Although - I come off tough sometimes. I'm not likely to show great excitement or even great remorse. I shield my feelings because I can crumble easily and then the world will disintegrate soon after. I've learned that it's best for us all.
What an Oxy MORON I am.
I'm an Extroverted Introvert.
My feelings sometimes overwhelm me in a situation though. It's getting rough. I'll overreact and lash out on the ones who care for me the most because they aren't understanding what's going on. And I expect them to follow my feelings! They aren't THAT unpredictable, are they?
So I'll be on a roller coaster and a great emotional high until....
Life stops listening to my heart.
...and rightfully so.
The sun goes low and my heart grows faint because life just isn't going my way.
Things get hard because I live for fulfillments. I feed off of Highs and crumble under the Lows.
I go in and out of interest on a task. Take writing this blog, for instance: I've stopped throughout the process of creating this about 3 times already... Just because I got tired of it. I literally just lost the feeling for it.. Until another wave of interest catches me.
What do I cling to?
What is constant?
When the feeling passes... What is rock solid in a flawed world of ever-changing truths.
I've learned that the Truth lies in the Beginning.
Before the failures. Before the distractions. Before the comparisons. And way before the pressures of our society...
There was a constant love for us: a natural course of life that had nothing to do with disappointments and failure. There was no fear... But perfect Love.
I am seeking that today.
Perfection by acceptance in the Love that never fails us.
From the day Adam was made to now... It casts out fear today.